How do I put myself first?


I am working on creating a course, it is full of so much valuable wisdom that I just need to share with others because my gut feeling, my heart and my brain are all yelling at me that it is what I am meant to do. I have no shortage of creativity in how it will be set out, what it will say and how how much it will help, so much of this wisdom I have learnt from my own experiences or from my keen ability to observe others and comprehend their experiences as best as one can. And I read and read and soak up new information which is filtered and sorted and backed up with experiences, other knowledge and more reading. There is definitely no shortage in my ability or my desires to deliver this course that I believe will be tailored to suit our individualities and will enable the best kind of self growth, SO why is it so hard to put my time first?

Life is definitely busy, no one can deny that really, its plastered across the headlines of most health information and we know it to be true on a daily basis. I am a mum of one pretty cool 9 year old, she is definitely a priority and does absorb a fair bit of time. I can hear many parents shout how 1 child must be so much easier and as I look about at other families I tend to agree with some of that sentiment. I like to support my partner as best as I can, he is a successful business owner and one of these guys who works hard all the time and I have his back when he needs me. He also has a really cool hobby with racing old fast V8 American muscle cars, which we all jump into feet first because its so much fun. I believe in family, though I confess I don't call my mum or siblings daily or super regularly, I am there for them when needed and when able. I like running my home, I always have, its a desire for me to have it all sorted and my kitchen is my 'shed' literally, I have a sign to prove it. Its not sexist to me because I get a sense of belonging in this space, its 100% my choice, I love the feeling of my home, though I confess as much as I like things clean and organised I am not the biggest fan of cleaning so happy to share that. And of course I am running a coaching business and creating a course which as mentioned before both are what I am passionate about. SO why do we bump our 'super important', 'float our boat' things down the list?

It is often in retrospect that we can identify the pattern of what has been, sometimes we become aware during the process, as I did this time during the school holidays where I had 3 weeks of knowing there was little to no time available of being able to work on my projects, but usually it is the beauty of hindsight that delivers us these messages. A huge part of my course is encouraging others to focus on the self in a way that creates inner knowledge and self growth that can benefit everyone around them not just themselves, so the irony is not lost on me that I have spent the last few weeks putting myself at the bottom of my list (again). But you know what makes a great teacher/coach, experience and the ability to have insight to that experience so I can share with others what I learn. And I have learnt that sometimes putting myself at the bottom of the list is not putting myself last, its not disregarding my importance. There is divine timing in everything and I am choosing to trust in that, of course procrastination is not divine timing, its procrastination... and consistently being at the bottom of your list is not going to work either, if you are not a priority you can become resentful and we all need to have our own backs as we are the one person who we can truly rely on for that. But sometimes there is a chunk of time where a bunch of bigger things is detracting you from your own important list, yes feel frustration if you do, yes acknowledge it and set a timeframe to return, yes feel the joy of being there for others in the full knowledge that soon you will again be there for you. Look at these patterns that a retrospective view allows and be kind to yourself, choose the joy in the moments then get back on track when the time is done. School holidays was busy/great, helping my partner create thankful experiences for his staff and customers was busy/fun and I am now off to work on that course with all guns blazing!

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